Wedding Etiquette

With Leah Furman, co-author of "The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book"

Engagements are full of potential for awkward situations. What with the in-laws, the friends, and sometimes even the children of the bride and/or groom all taking an active part, engagements are no time to neglect the rules of etiquette. Since we at Gabrielle Diamonds® want to do as much as possible to help you in this time of need, we have brought in wedding etiquette expert Leah Furman, author of ?The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book, to answer your most pressing engagement-related questions.

Q: Who should be the first to know about the engagement?
A: All too often, the first person to know about an engagement is the first person to talk to the couple after the question has been popped. In all the excitement, it's very hard to keep track of one simple fact: The mother must always be the first to know. Even if the cell phone rings five minutes after the proposal, you are not to let the cat out of the bag until you?ve had a sit-down with your parents and shared the happy news.
The only reason to announce the engagement via phone is if your parents live in the next time zone. Of course, if this is the case, you should make arrangements for you and your intended to visit with your parents as soon as possible.

Q: Which set of parents should we tell first?
A: Traditionally, the would-be bride?s parents have priority, with the groom?s parents coming in a close second. If, however, the bride?s family lives far away, while the groom?s parents are just a stone?s throw away, the order can be reversed.

Q: Can we announce our engagement in the newspaper?
A: Provided you?ve already notified all your relatives and friends, this is a great way of letting everyone know of your freshly minted engaged status. To make the wedding announcement as easy as possible, check with the newspaper to find out if they have a standard form for these announcements. If not, you can download the following fill-in-the-blank worksheet.

Q: How long should the engagement be?
A: The answer to this question depends entirely on you, your fiancé/e and your shared vision of a wedding. If you two want an elaborate affair for a thousand of your closest friends, a year?s engagement may not be long enough. If, however, your plans include Las Vegas, a day may seem like a lifetime. Most engagements fall somewhere in between these two extremes, lasting between three to eighteen months. Of course, protracted engagements are not at all uncommon for couples who, for one reason or another, would rather wait a few years to get married.

Q:  How much should an engagement ring cost?
A: While two months? salary is a great guideline, there are no hard and fast rules in this department. Save perhaps the one general rule that no engagement ring should cost more than you and your future spouse can afford to spend. The Gabrielle Diamond® offers engagement diamonds and engagement rings to fit all budgets. They believe that the price of the ring should be proportional to the size of your
income?in other words, you won't have to pawn the ranch to buy the rock.

Leah Furman is the co-author of "The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book," as well as "The Everything
Wedding Vows Book" and "The Everything Wedding Checklist," all from Adams Media Corp.